Can't help it

Each and every night
I dream of holding you
I love you
I want you
I need you
Each and every day
I think of you.

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In Memory of Potpot

For all the good times we had,
and all the love we shared,
you are in my heart forever.
You were the man in my life
that made sure I was always okay.
If I was down
you would snuggle up to me
and lick my hand.
You loved me.
And when I felt the most alone,
you never left my side.
I want you to know
that you were always appreciated.
Even when I couldn't pick myself up anymore,
you made sure I was alright.
You were not just a pet.
You were my friend.
My companion.
You were my hairy man
with big beautiful eyes.
You were kind and crazy enough
to make me laugh.
I will always love and miss you.
Until we meet again.

Forever my Potpot,
Angel

Keep A Child Alive

Peace y'all,

I've been fortunate enough to travel the world and experience so many different cultures, but nothing has impacted me the way South Africa has, nothing at all. I was fortunate to go there with MTV, but while I was there, I was able to investigate the HIV/AIDS pandemic for myself.

Even now, it's hard for me to come to terms with what I saw and what I'm still feeling about the whole experience. It's one thing to hear about it, another to read the statistics, but it's a whole other thing to experience it yourself and listen to the stories personally and meet the people affected by it. Our people. I had no idea of the magnitude of what was happening in Africa until I got there.

AIDS is the worst health disaster in human history and if we don't use our personal power, it will proliferate until it threatens humanity itself. It is already wiping out Mother Africa. She is crying out for medicine. The medicine that we take for granted here in the U.S. is not available to 99% of Africans because of cost.

After leaving Africa, there remained an amazing weight on my shoulders. I felt like I had two choices: 1) to either continue on with my privileged American life containing every opportunity and act like I never went to Africa and forget that it all happened and that it was just a distant land that had nothing to do with me ( which I could never do) or 2) I could keep the feeling that I had in my heart about that amazing place that touched me so much and try to offer some type of help, something that could shed some much-needed light onto the situation.

So, I asked myself, "What can I do? Can one little person in this very big world make a difference?" I was able to speak to Leigh Blake, who's the founder of Keep A Child Alive and she told me, "You can sponsor some children and pay for the life-saving medications that will keep them from dying needlessly and help us launch Keep A Child Alive to the public." And when I heard that people like me and you can step up and pay for the drugs at less than a dollar a day, I thought, "Yes, that makes sense to me." I urge you to become involved in this important initiative because I know that if we don't do it now, and if we don't do it together, it won't get done.

The people of Africa need anti-retroviral drugs NOW. It can't be tomorrow and it can't be three years from now when there will be 9 million more people dead. It has to be NOW. This should be as important as the War on Terrorism, it should be as important as rebuilding impoverished countries like Afghanistan, it should be as important as trying to have peace in the Middle East. This should be as important as if your daughter or son were dying and you could do nothing about it. That's how important this should be to us.

I come to you as a messenger. Please help. Take time out of your blessed lives and help someone else in desperate need. Africa has been continuously robbed of its culture, its natural resources, its gold and diamonds, its land and now it's being robbed of its life...and we are the thieves. If we don't think this is important enough to fund, then we might as well admit that we are the thieves. If three million people dying a year does not warrant our immediate attention, then who have we become and what have we allowed our leaders to do in our name?

I ask that you feel the importance of this project and really recognize how it affects all of us. Please, look into your hearts and find compassion. Look into your minds and do what is right. Help Keep A Child Alive save these lives because we can and we should!

Give and you shall receive,

-- Alicia Keys

To sponsor a child and find out more, go to http://www.keepachildalive.org

Floating in the sea of my heart

The night was alive
We were free
We stayed together alongside
We stayed together 'til the day has ended
It happened so sudden
I know you haven't forgotten
That once, we became part
of each other's hearts, each other's lives
I never did regret
I met you
In fact I was blessed
Though you're not here
I don't feel blue
I'm just glad I've known you
For you make me feel brand new
Just thinking about you makes my heart feel so alive
How lovely you made me feel inside.

The Story of Life

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will, power, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason... nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.

Even the bad experiences can be learned from... in fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Waking Hour

Over and over it has always been the same words I here
Those words that break my heart
Making me feel even more depressed
Making me feel even more worthless
I hate the world
My mother hates me
Teardrops fall
And my heart is broken in half.
Maybe this world is not my place, my anything
And now nothing could ever be done with my sorry, aching heart
It's killing me.
I stood in front of the mirror
with uncontrolled tears
I hope my mother won't see me crying.
So she would not bother about me.
Maybe she's tired of me.
Now I feel alone
And nobody's there to help me...